


Meet the Kirsteins

by Efhue



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan, snk - Fandom
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M, just siblings, some OCs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-29
Updated: 2015-03-01
Packaged: 2018-02-27 10:54:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2690210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Efhue/pseuds/Efhue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eren and Jean have been dating for a while now. Jean kinda wants Eren to meet his family. Jean's family kinda dont wanna meet Eren. Shenanigans of winning over family members ensue.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Home Sweet Home

“Why is it funny I like strawberry shortcake?” The brunet huffed, staring at the Frenchman across him. They were in a rather posh café in Paris,France.

Eren Jaeger had managed to make enough money to fly down to meet his boyfriend, Jean Kirstein. They had been in contact for months now, what started with fighting over the internet over controversies about famous shows, and critiquing horrendously on each of their theories of the shows, and oh god, the raging over ships, to videochatting just to see how ugly the latter was. Pleasantly surprised were they to find that they were actually averagely attractive. Soon the bickering turned into friendly banter, which turned into unintentional flirting, before landing them up in crushville, where they caught a train to finally dating. Months of working in odd end jobs as a busboy, a cashier and finally as an artist, had paid off tremendously. He had managed to rent an apartment with his adoptive sister Mikasa, and his best friend Armin. Occasionally, their neighbors dropped in. Erwin Smith was a principal at their school, and Mr.Levi was a bartender. Miss Zoe was a biologist, who Armin had hit it off with right off the bat. Mikasa and Levi were rather cordial, if not friendly. Erwin often came over for dinner, and the three youths had taken a sort of admiration to the blonde. And now back to the present.

“It suits you, though I thought you'd be more of a chocolate guy, what with your appearance and all.” Jean said off-handedly, as he sipped at his chocolate milkshake. “What’s that supposed to mean? And I hate chocolate, just so you know.” He said pointedly, attacking the pastry with rather unnecessary force. “Everyone loves chocolate. And all I meant was that you being into pink and shit kinda makes sense, _princess_.” He said with a tease playing at the end. He was stopped from anymore comments about Eren’s supposed cuteness by the quailing stare from across the table. “Whatever. What did you want to tell me anyway?” He asked, sipping his cold coffee, allowing a look of relish to flit across his face for a moment, before going back to the matter at hand. “Ah _oui_ , you see… _Ma famille_ …”

“Jean, you only slip into French when you're nervous. What’s up?” He asked, bending back on his chair, hands resting on the table, as he squinted suspiciously at the latter.

“My family wants to meet you.”

**• • •**

“A fucking mansion. You live. In. A. Fucking. _Mansion_.” Words left the dark lipped mouth through gritted teeth, coated in a mixture of disbelief, misguided agitation and nervousness. Throughout the bus journey, all they did was talk about things of no value. Nothing ventured to Jean’s family, even though it should have been all about it. Eren was regretting the fact with every passing second. “It’s really not that big of a deal. My dad’s just you know, head of Kirstein Corporations, but really-" His words were cut off when daggers were glared in his direction by two emerald orbs. “Come on, you'll see how chill we are.” He said with a reassuring smile, as he tugged the shorter boy by the sleeve of his red plaid shirt. Past the iron wrought gates, into the front door, Jean took a deep breath. He was usually up in Paris, studying art in his little studio there. He missed the smell, the smell of family, of the supper cooking in the kitchen, of the light musty quality oozing lightly into the air from the aging building. Nostalgia coursed through him in a warm and pleasant wave. Eren watched him with a sort of understanding. Family was important; too bad his died in a fire.

“ _Maman, Papa, je suis de retour_!”

“Oh ho ho, _bonsoir_ , Horse face~”

“Is that your boyfriend ?”

Eren furrowed his brows in confusion, looking up to see identical boys, perched on the railing of the staircase, who looked slightly older than Jean, but there was no mistaking the fact that they were related to him; same honey-brown, almost gold eyes, and high cheek bones. Really, apart from their light brown hair, parted to the right, they looked exactly like Jean. Beside him, Jean was closing his eyes with a painfully forced smile plastered, as though to mask irritation. He was obviously failing. “Eren, meet the twins, Eric and Luc. They're a year older than me.” He added, shooting them a glare, as the slid down the rail in grace and finesse. The landed cat like, without a sound on the carpeted floor “ _Bonsoir_!” He greeted nervously, hoping his accent didn't tell tale. “Oh, _il parle français_.” The twins chimed in unison, impressed, flocking around him, surveying him up and down with curious eyes. Conscious, he tugged at his collar to hide a particular spot that would be a giveaway of a frisky night before. The twins, however, smirked knowingly, individually flanking by his ears, tones low and mischievous. “So is he good in bed?” They said in such perfect synchronization, that Eren pondered if it was rehearsed. “Really good actually.” He stuttered out in response, while Jean cast at them glances of confusion. They smirked, cupping his ears. “Did you figure out the spot behind his neck ?” “Bite there and he turns into a real submissive bitch.”

“Oi, what’s up?” Jean finally spat, crossing his hands over his chest, shooting a nasty look at the trio. Eren wagered that his steadily reddening face was a giveaway. He shrugged, as the twins cackled, putting quick distance between the foreigner and themselves. “Maman calls for supper. _Blanquette de veau_ for today!” They announce like a pair of waiters. Eren didn't know what the hell that was, but if it could make Jean resemble a slobbering bulldog then hey, he was all up for it."Oh my god Eren, you are in for a-"

“JEAN JEAN JEAN _JEAN_ -"

That was all Eren heard before he witnessed all the wind get knocked out of Jean by a force that sped so fast past Eren, it looked like a blur. Maybe it was some sort of overly excited parrot.

“Elodie!” Jean gasped in response.

Apparently not.

Jean quickly picked up a little girl with rich brown hair, done up neatly. She looked like a little princess, with her tiara set neatly and her pink frilly frock. They conversed in French for a bit, as Eren watched on, entranced, because he could never stop being mesmerized by Jean’s control of the language. Sure, he  had German and Turkish under his belt, but when Jean spoke French, Eren couldn't help but mull over how different the language was from German, and yet, a little similar. Kinda like them, in a weird lingual aspect.

“Earth to Eren.” Jean’s hand waved in front of his face, and Eren shook his head a little, blinking to bring back his focus, earning a chuckle from Jean. “Meet Elodie, my little sister. Elodie, this is Eren, big brother’s boyfriend.” He said with that reserved smile Jean had for him, one that was as contagious as the flu. So Eren smiled back. “ _S-salut_ Elodie. _J-Je m'appelle_ -“ “Eren. Big brother just told me that.” She said, rolling her eyes at him. “He’s not very smart.” She said in a carrying whisper, and Jean frowned. “Elodie, be nice.” She huffed, but quickly brightened up. A quick question, and Jean laughed in response, nodding. Eren shot them a questioning look, and Jean quickly caught on. “Elodie here loves princesses. I usually play the prince, you know, what with me being all dashing, and charming-“ “Yeah, yeah, cut the crap, I get it.” He quickly cut him off, rolling his eyes with an amused smile.

“Jean !” This time Eren prepared himself for any other body that might throw themselves at his boyfriend, but none came. In fact, the source of the voice walked out the kitchen with a grace that reminded Eren of a queen so much that he almost felt compelled to bow to her.His first thought when he had a good look was that she was most likely the reason for her really good looking kids. She seemed middle aged but that didn't stop her from looking like Miss Universe. “Maman !” Jean exclaimed, putting down his sister to go hug his mother, who chuckled, kissing his cheeks. An exchange of questions, mostly about the wellbeing of each other passed in between them, as Eren watched, a little too conscious about himself than he had to be. Again, Eren was introduced, but luckily Mrs. Kirstein was a whole lot nicer than Elodie, and definitely more accepting than he anticipated. She hugged him as well, and being a little shorter than himself, Eren had to bend down a little. She patted his back comfortingly, and Eren could not place why, but he hugged her a little tighter than he had a moment ago. "Thanks for having me over, Mrs.Kirstein." He began sheepishly, before being cut off. “Oh hush, no need for formalities ! In fact, call me Genevieve. ” She said sweetly, with a rich little laugh, once they finally pulled away. “A-Alright.” Eren replied, with a polite smile, embarrassed blush creeping up his neck. Jean watched with a rather satisfied look.

“Genevieve, _je suis de retour_.” A gruff voice called, as the footsteps got louder, and finally a tall man stood in the doorway of the kitchen. “ _Bonsoir Hugo, Bienvenue_ !!” Genevieve greeted, going over to her husband, who obliged by placing a quick peck to her lips. Another tall man, with a better build than Jean , Eren noted mentally, entered after Jean’s dad. He was no stranger to the whole high cheek bones, golden eyes deal that was going on here.He seemed rather busy, talking quietly to someone in his Bluetooth in an exasperated tone, before rudely cutting the call. “Good evening Papa. Jacque.” Jean said curtly, grimacing a little.

Eren could swear that the temperature in the room definitely got chillier. “ _Bonsoir Jean._ ” His dad greeted back; Jacque showed no acknowledgement. Jean’s father scanned the kitchen, as though it might disappear, if he did not remember it in great detail. “ _Et qui est-ce_ ?” Eren could barely understand French, but he understood tone, and that question had way too much venom then necessary. “My boyfriend.” Jean spat back, stepping in front of Eren. Commence staring contest; mentally Eren was rooting for Jean, but really, he could not compete with the pure disapproval in his father’s eyes. So Jean’s dad one, and Jean zero. Genevieve glanced nervously between her husband and her son, before clearing her throat, rather sternly. “The kitchen is no place to fight. It is the place to eat and be family.” She said, throwing an apologetic glance at Eren, who shrugged in response and smiled, shaking his head to indicate that he didn't mind. Her shoulders relaxed and her smile grew wider, as she shooed the men to the table, along with Eren.

The first thing Eren noticed about the dining table was the smooth, near black mahogany finish. The next thing he noticed was it was rectangular, with two chairs at the short ends, and six chairs on either side. Eric and Luc quickly sat on the two seats that were close to their mother, with a triumphant smirk, positioning Eren dangerously close to Jean’s dad. Jean sat vertically opposite to him, followed by Elodie and then Jacque. Jean’s parents sat across each other vertically. An arrangement fit for royalty. Eren snorted at the thought, earning him a glare from Jean’s dad. “ _I've been here for about fifteen minutes and already half his damn family hates me_.” He thought bitterly. He furrowed his brows and closed his eyes, saying a silent prayer, hoping some God in the heavens above would pity him.

His eyes flew open when he felt something nudge his foot.Jean cautiously caught his eyes and gave what was a half nod, causing Eren to give a small smile in return. He pretended to talk to Eric, quickly slipping his leg out from his sneakers, letting his sock-covered feet explore Jean’s feet. Or at least, what he _thought_ were Jean's feet.

“ _BON NOM DE DIEU, QU'EST CE QUE_ -" Sharply erupted from Jean’s dad, who quickly looked from Jean to Eren, and back.Jean caught Eren's eye and kinda got the message, and quickly put on a mask of confusion. Eren hoped with all his heart that his expression mirrored them because he fucked up. “Problem, father ?” Jean asked with a drawl, raising his brows lazily. Attention quickly diverted to his son, Hugo Kirstein growled lowly, before returning to his food. Jean threw a smirk at Eren, a nasty amused thing, and Eren felt his face burn up in embarrassment. With the amount of time Eren’s face had been red that day, he should secretly considering investing with clothes that went with it. His mood had definitely soured considerably, and the coming week were most likely not going to be fun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So first fic, maybe leave some tips and critiques, that would be cool yeah ?  
> Also, translations
> 
> Oui | Yes
> 
> Ma famille | My family
> 
> je suis de retour ! | I have returned
> 
> Bonsoir | Good evening
> 
> il parle française | He speaks French
> 
> Salut | An informal greeting, such as Hi.
> 
> Je m'appelle | My name is ( or they call me by/ I am known as )
> 
> je suis de retour | I'm back
> 
> Bienvenue | Welcome
> 
> Et qui est-ce | And who is this 
> 
> BON NOM DE DIEU, QU'EST CE QUE- | WHAT IN THE GOOD NAME OF GOD


	2. Oh Princess, My Princess !

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He's making progress with a certain little girl.

Dinner passed quietly after that incident. Eren helped with the dishes, while Jean transferred the left overs neatly into boxes and stacked them rather precariously in the refrigerator, earning a tired glance from Eren, to which Jean shrugged. Why would Eren expect Jean to be anymore clean here than back at his apartment? “Jean, chéri, show Eren around the house.” Genevieve suggested, as she shooed Eren towards Jean, with a small smile that resembled Eric and Luc’s; mischievous and omniscient.  “Ah, _oui maman_ ! Come on Eren-" Jean replied with a smile, rolling the sleeves of his sky blue shirt back down to his wrists. His long fingers buried themselves in the crooks of Eren’s tanned ones, giving it a gentle squeeze. Eren slowly closed his as well, returning the pressure.

They passed the dining table, now void of its party, as they dispersed to go about their activities. Jean opened the door to the entrance hall with the grand front doors, the one with the grand staircase. At that time, Eren was too preoccupied with the Cheshire twins, but now he could appreciate the hard wood flooring, the marble finish of the stairs and the- was that granite- yeah, the greenish-black stone rails. His eyes trailed up to the crystal chandelier, and he let out a low appreciative whistle. Jean cleared his throat, still holding his hand, the tips of his ears burning a deep red. Eren grinned and moved closer, slipping his other hand into Jean’s, swiftly lifting himself up on to his toes, placing a quick peck on his lips. “It’s cool, so chill.” He assured, raising his brows and wearing the tiniest of smirks. Jean let out a shaky sigh, and quickly let a smile grace his thin lips, before bending down to kiss him gently. Eren’s eyes fluttered shut, as his hands left Jean’s to cups the sides of his face, thumbs barely brushing over his cheek bones- _god damn their prominence_ \- sliding down to the hollow of his cheeks, while he feels a pair of hands roam around his back, one of them finding their place on Eren’s waist the other tangling themselves in the chocolate locks- a slight tug- and Eren complies, angling his head to the left, as Jean set to work on his bottom lip, swiping his tongue deftly, before nibbling at it, earning a surprised gasp from the owner. He chuckled, low and breathy, as he slipped his tongue in, the appendage gently wrapping around the latter’s, stroking and darting, till Eren let a slow moan pass. _Oh god_ , the moment was per-

“ _QU-EST’CE QUI SE PASSE ICI_ ?!”

Half an hour and Eren had already become the master at recognizing the different voices, but that didn’t make this one any more welcome. With a yelp and wet plunging noise, they separate, and put a distance of no less than five meters between them, as they look at anywhere but at Jean’s father.  “I was just showing him…around…the house.” Jean explained, tone faltering a little, as he finally looked up a little. The comment earned him a snort that was so horselike, Eren was forced to look up. Hugo Kirstein did the universal sign of I’ve-got-my-eyes-on-you; the swift motion of pointing his index and middle finger to his eyes and then pointing them to Eren, before grunting and walking away.

A minute passes in complete silence.

“Shit, Eren, I am so sorry-“

“Save it.” He cuts him off with a sigh, running a hand through his hair.

“Eren, really-“

“Jean, its fine-“

“Eren, babe, listen to me-“

One swift punch came Jean’s way, and a sick crunching noise.

“I said its fine ! ” Eren nearly screamed, as Jean staggered back a little.

Eren turned his back to Jean, ready to walk away, but he felt a death grip on his wrist, and the moment of surprise rendered him vulnerable, as Jean twisted him, hand painfully turned behind his back, as he stood, face a couple of centimeters away from Jean’s chest. Jean sniffled disgustingly, as he wiped the blood dripping steadily from his nose on the sleeve of his shirt, before letting go of Eren’s arm and hugging him close. “It’s ogay-“ “Ogay?” Eren repeated confused, looking up at Jean. “ _Ogay_ , you know-“ “Oh, _okay_.” Eren let out a tiny laugh, as he shook his head. Typical Jean; bleeding from the nose, and he still cared more about Eren. Wait, shit. Eren looked up frantically, as though the severity of his actions just hit him. “Uh, fuck, where’s the bathroom?” “Up the snairs.” “ _Snairs_? Oh, stairs, duh-"

Roles reversed, Eren tugged Jean up the stairs, looking back from time to time, letting out a hiss as though he was the wounded one, until Jean pointed to a dark wooden door with a silver doorknob. Eren barged through it, turning on the tap, as he pushed Jean down onto the toilet, lid on, as he tried to tear up pieces of tissue into balls, handing them to Jean. “Just stick it up there-" “That’s whan you said-" “ _Jean Kirstein now is not the time-"_

He wet a couple more tissues, trying to swab away any blood that may have dribbled down. He gently tilted his head back, and moved away, worrying his lip as he gazed at his boyfriend. “ _Fuck_ , I’m so sorry Jean, I’m just, I can’t control my emotions for _shit_ , and I just, I _really fucked up_ with your family okay-“ He manages to spill out in a rush, as he grabs clumps of his hair agitatedly, staring mostly at his feet, but shot Jean nervous glances from time to time. “Eren, hey, listen. I know, it’s hard, but I know you’ll get them to accept you. Mom already loves you, and I’m pretty damn sure you’ve got me too.” He said, voice sounding much better. Eren shot him a tiny smile, moving closer, picking up one of Jean’s hands in both of his own, and squeezing it.

Jean’s fingers are long and knobby, with his joints and knuckles more defined than a normal hand, but Eren knows they hold strength in them, as well as love. He raises the pale hand to his lips, gently peppering kissing onto his knuckles, while Jean laughs, ruffling Eren’s hair appreciatively with his free hand.

“They’ll love you.”

**♛ ♛ ♛**

 

Eren didn’t get to sleep with Jean that night. Not even the actual sleeping deal, so sex was far off. Instead he was made to room with Jacque, who practically scared the crap out of Eren. He was much older,  in his mid-twenties, and never talked, no matter how hard Eren tried. The most he got in terms of a response was a grunt when he wished him good night. He was out before Eren could complete with "sweet dreams."

The next morning he woke up, alone. He turned over to Jacques bed, which was neatly made, and Eren snorted. So maybe untidiness was not a familial trait. He got up, hair standing up at wild angles, t-shirt hanging loosely off a shoulder, navy blue boxers peeking out. Eren walked through the corridor, looking at the doors, each complete a bronze name plate, furnished in the same dark wood. Memory led him to the bathroom, where he quickly brushed his teeth. He walked down the marble staircase, barefoot, shivering a little as the cold floor sent tingles through his warm foot. He finally reached the landing and made a sharp left, pushing the door open hesitantly, to be greeted by a smiling Mrs. Kirstein. “A-Ah, _bonjour_ -" “Good morning Eren! Jean’s just gone to the main offices today, along with the rest of them. I will have to leave in about five minutes, and Elodie’s babysitter has called in sick. I know this is too much to ask, but do you mind looking after her ?” She asked with a hopeful smile, hands interlocked, chin resting upon them, as her elbows were placed on the surface of the table.

Eren, who had been paying all his attention to the croissant placed on his plate, quickly looked up at her. She looked pretty today as well, hair elegantly tied up in a bun, makeup so perfect Eren wondered if she could put it on without even thinking about it. “S-Sure. Don’t worry Mrs.Kir- Genevieve.” He said with a small smile. Mrs. Kirstein’s smile widened a little at the usage of her name, as she gratefully got up. “Merci beaucoup, Eren. Now, I shall see you in a while ! Have fun !” She wished, as she quickly made her way out the door. A moment and he heard the front door close. As if on cue, Elodie popped up from behind him with a whisper of “Boo !” Now Eren is a man, and therefore his shriek was manly, and you can’t prove otherwise. Elodie burst into a fit of giggles, as Eren pouted, and tried to steady his heart. Plastering a smile, and taking a bite of his croissant, he began to talk to her. “Now Elodie-“ “Ugh, don’t talk with your mouth full ! _ce n'est pas ce qu'un prince fait_  !" She protested hotly, as she curled her hands into fists, thrusting them at her sides. Eren promptly shut up and swallowed hard. “Use the knife and fork.” She instructed bossily, as he humored her and complied. He had never been told what to do, so this was relatively new. Elodie rolled her eyes, crossing her arms across her chest and for a split second she resembled Jean; then again, they were related. “I will have to work on you.” She said dramatically, with an exasperated sigh. “W-Work ?” “ _Oui_. Big brother is a prince, which is why he can only marry royalty.” She explained in a tone someone would adopt to explain two plus two.

“Ah.” Was all he Eren could reply, as he got up, picking up the utensils and depositing them responsibly into the sink. He clapped his hands to rid of any crumbs, before turning back to the little brunette. “Right, what do you have in mind ?” He asked, crouching down to her level with a small smile. She narrowed her eyes, as though studying his face, before squishing his cheeks with her hands. “You need a makeover.” She said in a tone of finality, and never had Eren ever dreaded a sentence as much as that.

Half an hour later, a freshly showered Eren was sitting on the carpeted floor of Elodie’s room, which was a rich purple and gilt number, with intricate Celtic designs which Eren found a little peculiar, but decided against asking about it. She whizzed around him, carrying about seven different make up sets, stacked in a dangerous manner atop one another. Eren offered to help, but Elodie instantly shot him down. “ _Close your eyes_.” She said, kneeling in front of him, to which Eren responded with a sigh but closed them anyway. Instantly the little hands placed themselves on his face, tilting it a little. He pressed his lips into a thin line, as Elodie began her work. “ _Hold still_ ,” she ordered, leaving the room with fast pattering footsteps, returning almost immediately. Eren tried to sneak a peek but was quickly reprimanded, and hence kept his eyes shut. A minute later, Eren heard a voice from somewhere to the left to him, that sounded a lot older than Elodie, but he couldn’t open his _damn_ eyes. The voice often paused, right when Elodie’s hands were off his face. About ten minutes of weird sensations like brushes dusting across his eyelids, tape stuck to the side of his eyes, wet stickiness lining the distance between his eyelid and thick eyebrows, and then pressure onto them, Elodie okayed the opening of his eyes. His eyes fluttered a little, before Elodie got back to ordering him around. “ _Look up_.” His eyes instantly darted towards the ceiling, before feeling his eyelashes curl up, along with a utensil that Eren had no clue about. A couple of rapid blinks, and he could focus on Elodie’s grin, that was a mixture of pride and happiness, as she held up a little gold hand mirror for him to see.

“Wow.” He breathed out in a low exhale of surprise. Number one, girls were _fucking magicians_ with makeup. Eren’s eyes were adorned with an array of cool colors. A combination of light teal, a dark blue and a dark violet were blended in a beautiful gradient, from lightest to darkest. Black winged eyeliner was applied perfectly, thanks to the tape and Elodie’s steady hands. The pressure and stickiness on his eyes ? Rhinestones, arranged with the larger ones near the tapered end of his eyebrow, decreasing in size, forming a sort of abstract triangle. He admired the handiwork of the eight year-old, who was putting away her instruments. That is, until she froze, and slowly turned to Eren with a manic glint in her eyes, like she just thought of something that was absolutely genius. Quickly rummaging through a bag, she pulled out a lipstick, twisting it a little until the colored rod appeared. She held it close to his lips, while he stared down at it in horror.

“Elodie, no, come on-“ Eren started to protest, but quickly shut up, as Elodie’s lower lip jutted out in a pout, and her eyes began to well up with tears wetting to be shed. A moment of panic, as quickly started a chant of “no please no no-“ until he finally let out a frustrated sigh. “Fine, put the _stupid_ lipstick on.” He said with gritted teeth, which made Elodie smirk. What a fucking _actress_. She resumed her position, as Eren parted his lips for the application, which took less than a minute. “Rub your lips together.” She requested, even showing him how to do it, and Eren mimicked her motions. “Am I done ?” “Not yet.” She said with a tiny laugh, as she went over to her dressing table, rummaging through drawers, until she pulled out a silver plastic tiara with blue and green plastic jewels. She promptly put it through his hair and clapped her hands together. “There !” She proclaimed happily. “Now, you look like royalty ! But you don’t act it. Follow me.” She said, quickly standing up, grabbing a light green plastic scepter with a pink star at the head. Eren got off the floor with a groan, stretching a little. “Where to ?” “The library, duh.” She said, slipping her little hand into his and tugging him along. “What for ?” He asked, confused, as Elodie rolled her eyes for the umpteenth time that day. “Are you _always_ this stupid ? You need grace.” She said, as she led him up another staircase- seriously, how big was this place- and stopped in front of two huge doors. Elodie let go of his hand, marching forward and pushing the door open like as though she was about to walk into royal proceedings. She clapped her hand twice. “Stand near the shelf.” “Which one ?” He asked in awe, because there were about ten towering shelves, all filled. “Near the ladder.” She explained, as she began to climb it. Eren meanwhile nervously positioned himself under her, just in case there was a freak accident.

Down came a volley of fat textbooks. Titles such as _Dictionary of Automotive Engineering_ , _Voiture Minimum_ ,  and _Car Design Europe_ caught his attention. After Elodie deemed that seven books were more than enough, she jumped from her foothold, with way too much grace. Eren flipped through a couple of pages, eyes wide in awe. “Elodie, these books…” “They’re papa’s ! But it’s nothing compared to what he actually has.” She said smugly. “ _Actually has_ ?” Elodie nodded, looking him up and down, before giving a secretive grin. “Keep those down, and follow me.”

Five minutes later, Eren was standing in the state of the art garage, with not one, not two, but _fifteen_ cars. Vintage, classic and Modern blended together beautifully under the yellow ceiling lights, that shined down on each car like a spotlight, practically screaming for Eren’s attention. He was immediately drawn to a sleek Burgundy number. “A _Volkswagen Beetle Sedan_ -“ “1953 edition.” Elodie completed for him, as her fingers trailed on the hood of the car. No dust. “How did you know ?” “I _like_ cars too.” She said matter-of-factly. “Papa used to tell me all about them! This one is his favorite.” She explained, pointing back to the Beetle with a smile. A surge of affection ran through Eren as he crouched down beside Elodie. “Did Jean tell you what I study back in school ?” Elodie shook her head, tilting her head curiously. “Automobile design. I like drawing all these different cars.” He explained, as Elodie let out and excited squeal. “ _Vraiment_?” Eren nodded with a grin. “Yeah. Come on, I’ll show you my sketches.” He said, as he picked her up easily, walking out of the garage, back to the mansion.

“Eren, I’m back !” Jean called, as he discarded his scarf and coat on the coat stand, walking up the stairs, to Jacque's room. “Eren-“ He stopped short at the sight; Elodie on Eren’s lap, as they huddled over the desk, Eren explaining, extremely enthusiastic about the different parts of the car, while Elodie listened with rapt attention, mouth open in awe. Elodie was the first to notice Jean, as she exclaimed his name, sliding of her seat, and running to hug Jean’s waist. Jean laughed and patted her head, as Elodie explained the day’s events. Eren stood up with a grin, as he made his way to Jean. “Hey Jean, how w-“

“Jaeger, what the f- _heck_ happened to your face ?” Jean corrected quickly, expressing his shock. “What’s wrong with my face ?” The latter replied, confused. “You’ve got makeup on.” _Right_. Eren’s face quickly flushed beetroot red, as Jean cleared his throat and looked away, stuttering a little as he struggled to get his views out. “Don’t get me wrong, you look _gorgeous_ , but what-“ “A Prince can only love royalty, and  royalty has to be really pretty!” Elodie exclaimed, letting go of her older brother, moving behind him and shoving him towards Eren. Jean stumbled forward, dropping his file,hands awkwardly positioning themselves on Eren’s shoulder to prevent him from falling. “Um, hi.” Jean said lamely, as Eren smirked. “Not so charming now, huh, are you _Prince_ Jean ?” He teased. “Oh, like you’re one to talk, _princess_. ” “ _Hey_ , just so you know, makeup is an _empowering tool_ -“ Eren’s rant was cut short by Jean’s lip on his. His hands hung by his sides, before they decided to place themselves on Jean’s hips. Incredible, despite the layers of clothes, Eren could still feel the sharp jut of Jean’s hip bones. Elodie giggled, and excused herself with a soft “ _Mon travail ici, est fait._ ” Eren pulled away, as he pointed to the bathroom. “I’ll go wash u-“ “Wait.” Jean said, as he detached himself from Eren, going to pick up his file, leafing through it and pulling a sheet of paper of it, holding it next to Jean. _“It’s perfect_ !” He said, with an incredulous laugh. “Yes, I’ve got this !” He said with a cheerful whoop, as he stormed out the room, leaving Eren standing there, completely lost. “Guess I’ll go…wash up.Yeah.” He said to the empty room, shrugging and walking over to the bathroom. 

"Hey ! We still have to practice on your manners. So you have to come to the library again !" Elodie declared in her former commanding tone, but when Eren turned to look at her, there was an excited smile on her face. She skipped away immediately, work complete now. 

"Guess she had fun." Eren said with his own smile, opening the door to the bathroom, and turning the tap on, ready to wash away the makeup.

“Wait. _Wait_. That’s _one_ down, and _four_ left.”

Suddenly, puzzlement was replaced with cheerfulness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Patience is a virtue. Also the voice Eren hears is a make up tutorial in French.
> 
> chéri | Dear
> 
> CE QUI SE PASSE ICI ?! | WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE 
> 
> Merci Beaucoup | Thank you very much
> 
> ce n'est pas ce qu'un prince fait | That is not what a prince does
> 
> Vraiment ? | Really ?
> 
> Mon travail ici,est fait | My work here is done


	3. Trouble for Two, please.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this took way too long but i had a couple of stuff to do hah  
> cliched twins basically

Today was busy. There’s more commotion outside than the past two days; seems like Mondays didn’t change, no matter what country you were in, and young Eren was realizing this, as the curtains were harshly thrown open, letting the infernal rays of the sun flood in with such intensity that Eren couldn’t block out even by worming underneath two whole blankets. Accepting the rare case of defeat, Eren sat up, and dug the heels of his palms into his eyes, rubbing them in circular motions to dispel any stubborn sleep that may wish to tether itself in the form of the gold crust that lined at the sides of his eyes. Blinking rapidly to steady his vision was a sight that he had only seen played by soubrettes and he admits, in certain selective videos he may have wished to indulge himself in times of desperation.

French Maids, in all their glory of feather dusters and short black dresses that were at a decent length, confirming Eren’s theory that the videos considerably sexualized the item of clothing for maximum pleasure. Another case to file away under “totally called it.” They chattered away jovially, all in French and Eren found himself subconsciously slipping into the language, falling into the state of sleeping wake, as he gets up, confused, tugs a little subconsciously at his shirt to hide how underdressed he was. If Jean had maybe let slip that there might be the entire squad Kirstein Corporation’s maids visiting, he would have had half the mind to throw on pants instead of boxers.

Ah well, c’est la vie, as they say.

His legs lead him to the bathroom on autopilot, as he tries, oh tries so hard, to issue a decent fuck off to the temptress known as sleep, who teases him with promises of a warm fluffy bed. He would give in, but no, the sunlight spoiled its effect. So suck on that sleep.

He locked the door, again with no real thought, and pulled down his boxers by the crook of his thumbs, the plaid patterned fabric rolling down in folds. A moment later, a stream of piss escaped its bounds, but there was no soft ceramic clink of the liquid against the bowl.

Instead, Eren here was met with a face full of piss. The only way, the entire situation would have been any more hilarious would be if some shitty comedian popped out and shrieked “urine trouble!”

But no, Eren was alone, and drenched, and more than a slightly pissed, and very, very confused. On inspection, the toilet seemed to be covered with a thin layer of cling foil, angled ever so beautifully that it didn’t even tell tale of light, or maybe Eren was too busy proclaiming victory over the beckoning of his bed to notice, but the sudden realization of specks of tinkle littering his face was enough to get his attention.

So Eren does the next logical thing, which is washing his face. Except, the bar of soap isn’t making the rich lavender-scented lather it usually does, and he, for the life of him, cannot wonder why. This was the same bar of soap he washed the makeup off with last night, so this was really fucking with his head. So he took the situation and processed it, and decided he should just shower.

Now Eren should probably build up his guard, but no. He was not prepared for what hell had decided to unload on him. The brunette’s the kind of guy who brings his own soap and shampoo, because for him comfort is a top priority. He knows he can get settled into a foreign land if he has familiar smells. So along he brought his strawberry scented shampoo, which he would break noses over and claim it’s not just for females, but for anyone who gives a shit about their hair. His soap was the normal kind; unscented and cheap.

Again, the soap did not lather, and desperate times called for desperate measures, so he turned to his shampoo, which did not open, even when he placed it directly under the shower. A loud stream of curses was issued, primarily in German, because his hosts were well fluent in English. He quickly wrapped a towel around his waist, and stomped purposefully to Jean’s room, who was conversing with a maid. They promptly stopped at the sight of the brunet, stunned at his exhibition. “Take a picture it lasts longer.” He spat at them, before shutting the door to Jean’s bathroom.

**⌚ ⌚ ⌚**

“So what’s with the whole maid deal you got here ?”

“Servants.” Jean replies, after spooning a mouthful of oats.

“Oh wow, for some reason I thought they were this really weird alien race that wanted to invade earth with,” he gasped dramatically, eyes widening as he whispered “cleanliness” in a grave tone.

Jean barked out a laugh, leaning forward to pull Eren’s cheek with a breathless “ _adorable_ ” as Eren swatted it away.

“Seriously, stop deflecting and answer the question.” He muttered grumpily.

“Rich dad, big house, therefore lots of maintenance. Understood ?”

“Where were they these past two days ?”

“Jeez Eren, everyone deserves to enjoy the weekend.”

“Uh huh.” He said, as he went back to playing with his own breakfast.

“What else ?”

“Why the fuck isn’t my soap lathering and my shampoo opening and why the fuck is there clean film on the toilet bowl-“ He hissed out in a rush, as Jean grew visibly confused.

“Eren… _what the actual fuck_ ?” Was all Jean could deem as a reasonable response at the moment.

And so Eren explained the morning escapades with fervor and emphatics fit for theatre.

**⌚ ⌚ ⌚**

“Oh, Eric and Luc. They’ve really outdone themselves this time.” Jean offered at the end, in a tone that conveyed everything that was the opposite of pride.

“Wait, your older brothers ?”  He responded hesitantly.

“ _Oui_.”

“Why.”

“Initiation. They may not look like they care, but in their own fucked up way, they do.” He said, with a half laugh.

“Wow, I’m moved.” Eren said, rolling his eyes. “Well, can you get them to stop ?” He asked, and was genuinely surprised when he was offered the trademarked  Kirstein smirk and snort; a classic to use on anyone who enjoyed horses and hot men, but at the moment was just plain infuriating.

“Nah, figure it out on your own.”

“Why am I dating a shithead like you again ?”

“Because love.” Jean replied smugly, batting his eyelash with a huge, fake sigh of contentment, the kind you hear Disney princess make when the swoon over their stupid ass prince.

Eren rolled his eyes, grabbing his plate, only to have it pulled out of his grip by a plump redhead maid who stuck up her nose at him. He glared in turn, but refrained from anything more.

He passed the dark mahogany dining table, only to notice a small white package, with a bow tacked on sloppily. A card sat on top, folded haphazardly, scrawled in letters only linked to that of an unsteady hand of a child. That and the card proudly boasted “for Prince Eren,” with the E written backwards. Typical. He grinned, opening the package gently, pleasantly surprised to find a cupcake, with strawberry cream dolloped on artistically, candy hearts neatly encircling it in a ring, colors of red and blue contrasting nicely against the baby pink cream. An embarrassed flush and a fond smile ambushed Eren, as he gently picked up the pastry, peeling down the pink wrapper with eager fingers, and taking a large bite.

Which he immediately spat out, because hey guess what ? The cake was a lie.

In retrospect, Eren should have put the odd texture of the cupcake and relate to something he’s used to constantly holding since he’s usually on dish duty. Still, nothing in his life could have prepared him for a strawberry _sponge cake._

**⌚ ⌚ ⌚**

“… _fucking done with their shit_ -“  Eren muttered angrily as he walks into Jean’s studio, situated vertically above his room. A modern placement in the old vintage house, the room was all exposed, with glass walls and mannequins set around everywhere. They had shelves upon shelves of fabric, different textures and colors. There were separate glass cases for shoes and handbags, even hats. Some mannequins seemed to be mid-creation, and interestingly, none of the clothes were finished. Jean was pouring over his sketch book, propped over on an easel, as he compared strips of fabric near the diagram, while Eren took his place on a stool, sulking, sighing rather loudly as a ploy for attention.

Which flew promptly over jean’s head, and so he sighed louder, over and over.

“Will you stop that?” Jean replies irritably, finally turning to Eren, who had now resorted to staring stubbornly at a little blue and white number, which was again, incomplete. He rolled eyes, making his way over, crossing his arms over his chest and tapped his foot impatiently. “What’s fucking you ov- no. No don’t tell me.” He says, hand moving to pinch the bridge of his nose. “You’re plotting something.” He states matter-of-factly.

A moment of silence from the later, though he darts his eyes to Jean’s face for a split second, enough to give him away.

Jean groans and turns away. “Nope, I am not enabling this bullshit. Don’t fuck with them because then you can say goodbye to my glorious ass.” He says with a bitter laugh.

“. . .We all know I have a better ass.” Eren replies, with a snort, an attempt to lighten the mood.

Jean laughs, sarcastic and loud. “ _Unbelievable_. Listen, _just fucking listen to me this time_ , and don’t do shit, got it ?” He says, adopting a tone of finality, brandishing his pencil at him.

“Okay.”

“Eren, I’m serious.”

“Chill, I won’t do shit.”

“Better not.”

**⌚ ⌚ ⌚**

It’s after dinner and Eren was up in his room, working hard on a semester project, figuring out the best optimization for efficient use of fuel. A purely theoretical project, but Eren wasn’t just pouring over books; papers lay around him, while his laptop sat precariously at the edge of the table, and often Eren would tap away at it. A knock on the door interrupts his work, but he answers it anyway, albeit a little annoyed.

“Well hey there, _Monsieur schnitzel_ ~”

“Did you enjoy the cake ?” They greeted happily, almost innocently, to which Eren rolled his eyes. “Oh please, forgo your innocent act; just so you know, that was a really stupid act and you know it.” He snapped.

“Aw us ? Please, we just got back home, we couldn’t have possibly planned for this.” Luc said in mock hurt.

“For real man, cut the bullshit. I have a project to finish.”

“Fuck that man. Alright, alright, how about we bury this behind us, and have a drink yeah ?” Eric invited good naturedly.

“Hell no. I’m really busy man. Maybe later?” He offered with a small smile.

They shrugged and nodded, leaving him in peace, even closing the door after him.

**⌚ ⌚ ⌚**

“Hey, little brother, you think your boyfriend can actually plan pranks ?”

“ _Eren_ and _plan_ shouldn't be in the same sentence. Asshole is more impulsive rather than, you know, the strategic kind.” He snorted, tapping his temple with his right index finger.

“Oh alright then. If you say so.”

“I swear, no point in me lying yeah?” He replied nonchalantly, noticing his brothers’ wariness.

“Yeah.” They respond a little more relaxed.

**⌚ ⌚ ⌚**

It’s four in the morning, as a presence skulks into the room, specifically the one housing the twins. It’s a clumsy presence, often pressing down onto the planks that creak, but thank god all Kirsteins were heavy sleepers. He quietly sets up his tools; a glass of vodka on the bed stand, a foldable table over Eric’s face, legs positioned on either side of his head. Finally, a tiny bottle of hot sauce is slipped out of the figure’s pocket.

“And the hunter’s set the trap.” Eren whispers to himself, snickering and then silencing himself, because hey, don’t want to wake up the prey now do we ?

He gently dribbles drops of the fiery concoction onto Luc’s lip, who was, by the mercy of the deities above, snoring as loud as a walrus with a blocked nose, mouth opened oh so vulnerably.  

He sneaks out with the same stealth that he snuck in with, and yet no level that was anywhere near close to a cat burglar. He slips back into his room with a smirk, and lays back down on his bed, grinning to himself.

The clock strikes 4:15. A shriek pierces the air, high pitched and loud. A second later a loud thud is heard and an even louder stream of French profanity. Another second person and two voices are practically howling in anguish. Footsteps positively thump to the direction of his room, and the door slams open, as the light switches on. It takes every ounce of will Eren possesses to look as livid as a person who had just awoken from deep slumber. 

They bound over, nostrils flared. Eric grabs the front of his shirt and pulls him roughly. “You…you little…”

“If you’re going to struggle for words, I’d suggest you’d sleep it off and then come and talk to me.”

“Oh listen here you little-“

“ _Ta gueule_.” Rises a fourth voice. Jacques sits up hastily, turning to the general direction of their voices, sounding deathly furious, causing the bickering trio shut up immediately. A moment passes, and Jacques flops back onto the bed with a tired sigh, and resumes his snoring.

The twins shove Eren back roughly and glare, exiting with a mere hiss.

**⌚ ⌚ ⌚**

“Ah, Eric, Luc, _Avez-vous dormi du tout_ ?" Géneviève enquires, a little alarmed at the state of her sons.

They glare and take their usual seats in unison, scowling across the table at Eren, who sat there with an almost smug grin, buttering his croissant, chattering away pleasantly to a maid, who laughed in return and nodded enthusiastically.

“Hey Jean, I didn’t know there were many German speakers here in Strasbourg! Its rather nice.” He commented happily.

“Oui, my great grandpa was in fact German. Came over here some time during the late 1800’s I think.” Jean replied with a nod, as he poured over a variety of fashion magazines that surrounded his breakfast.  

Eric and Luc watched the exchange bitterly, as they helped themselves to some toast. “Christianne, _le jus de pomme, s'il vous plaît_ ?” Eric requested quietly. The maid who was formerly conversing with Eren nodded, and made her way back to the kitchen quickly.

“Ah, I’m done with breakfast.” Eren proclaims, as he gets off his chair, sliding it first quietly against the floor, and then walking to the kitchen as well.

He returns with two glasses of the requested liquid beside the twins. They’re on high alert, but then ration that the stupid kid couldn’t have done anything to the drink in a span of thirty seconds. They share a shrug and raise the glasses to the lips, sipping the liquid.

“Oh yeah, my bathroom’s still has its transparent cover. I had to pee somewhere else.” He informs in a devious whisper before sauntering away, leaving the rest of the member to deal with the spray of spit that escapes the twin’s mouths.

**⌚ ⌚ ⌚**

“Hey, Jean, wait.” Luc calls, as his younger brother walks down the stairs outside their massive front door.

“Oui ?”

“Keep him. He’s not as bad as we thought.” Eric says with a small smile.

“. . .And you reached this conclusion how ?”

“No one else has bothered pranking us back.” They respond, walking past him and settling into the limousine waiting for them.

**⌚ ⌚ ⌚**

**From: asshole <3**

ur bros r cool r

rad af pranks man

 

**To: asshole <3**

They’re my brothers after all lmao

 

**From: asshole <3**

stfu

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ta gueule | Really really rude way of saying shut up
> 
> Avez-vous dormi du tout | Did you sleep ?
> 
> le jus de pomme, s'il vous plaît | apple juice, please ?


	4. Take a pill

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh wow, this took long ????  
> I was really sick so uh, sorry about that.  
> Kinda inspired this chapter and I'll admit, it's a shameless filler but hey man, who doesn't enjoy Eren and Jean trying to be cute.

They're sitting at the dining table, and three days was all it takes to become accustomed to the traditions set in the house. The table is complete, save for Hugo and Jacques. “Oh, they had to leave early on a business trip.” Genevieve informs easily, before making a rather undignified face and letting out a hearty sneeze. “Excusez-moi !” She exclaims quickly, while Eren replies with an absent minded “ _Gesundheit_ ,” ringing loud among the chorus of “ _à tes souhaits_ ” earning a howl of laughter from the boys and a giggle from a certain eight year old. Eren flushes an embarrassed red, letting out a tiny chuckle, as the family tries to tell him how to wish good health in their language. He repeats and butchers. They stifle laughter but in vain. It’s a good morning.

★★★

“I-I mean, we don't _have_ to, only if you _want_ to-" Jean stammers, stumbling over words that he’s trying to get out, hoping somewhere deep down his wild gesticulations would convey the message. Eren, _the little shit_ , smirks from the doorway, hands crossed across his chest as he leans in the most fucking attractive manner possible, and all this is just making the lump in Jean’s throat harden. _“Jean Kirstein_ ,” He starts, drawing his name out in a dangerous purr, “Are you asking me out on a _date_ ?” He asks, laughing to himself because Jean makes the most relieved place on the planet. He nods furiously, deeming words a disappointment at this point of time. Eren unfurls his hands from their stance, taking Jean’s hand into his, letting the pad of his thumb trace circles along Jean’s bony knuckles. He bends down, glancing up to keep his eyes locked with Jean’s, briefly brushing his lips over the pale surface, and Jean, _awkward Jean_ , lets out a string of curses.

★★★

“Parc de l’Orangerie, the largest and oldest park here, a park we boast about.” Jean says as he removes his hands from Eren’s closed eyes. He lets them flutter open, a grin quick to lift his lips. “It seems interesting.” He comments lightly, hand finding its place back in Jean’s, fingers fitting neatly between the spaces. He swings their arms gently as he threads purposefully towards the park, Jean walking right beside him, mirroring Eren’s happiness.

“I-It’s a really great place; I used to come here with my family all the time. They have this small farm, and a zoo. They've got bridges and boating, a bowling too !” He explains excitedly, slipping back into childish nostalgia as he reminisces about the various aspects of the park. “It’s been a while, but I still remember, this place was flocked by stalks ! They're like, our symbol.” He supplied turning to glance at Eren, who met his gaze with a roll of his eyes, because he’s learnt to read Jean by now. He knows that Jean pauses to look at with him to make sure Eren’s listening, and Eren is. He assures him by squeezing his hand and replying with a quick “tell me more.”

Jean complies, as they walk a good bunch. He gestures to countless trees, recounting various stories about his brothers and him. Eren’s personal favourite is the one where Jean had somehow managed to flip himself upside down while climbing a branch, entitling him to grip it like a sloth while his brothers used the picnic cloth to form a safety net, running madly under him, Jacque holding two corners, while Eric and Luc held one each. Eventually a kind gentleman had managed to scale the tree and drag the now bawling Jean out from his place. The whole adventure had cost the boys a week away from their gadgets, and they didn’t mind; they just played football until the sun set and ended up sleeping in a heap in the common room.

By the end, Eren is in fits of laughter, complete with tears and a stitch in his side, while he teases Jean mercilessly. The latter punches him in the shoulder, and thanks to Eren’s instability, he topples over. Jean immediately helps him up, and now they’re both laughing. In a haze of breaths, Eren steals a kiss from Jean’s lips, still parted in laughter, instantly shutting him up. “Payback.” Eren explains cheekily.

Back to swinging their hands.

Rhythm. One, _two._

They reach the bridge, and Eren leans on the rails, staring at the water, pleasantly surprised when a boat emerges from under the arc. Jean notices his parted lips, as though the words are right on the tip of the tongue, and when Eren turns to let out the request, Jean is already smiling and nodding.

“Sure.” He says curtly, already tugging at their laced fingers to guide him to the booth to rent a boat. “You ever gone boating ?” Jean asks, as he fishes out his wallet, swatting away Eren’s hand when the brunette stubbornly thrusts his hand into his pants to extract a few bills. “Nah.” Eren admits carelessly, shrugging. “Landlocked Deutschland, not much of an opportunity.” He grunts in response as he kicks at a stray rock, glaring at it. Jean rolls his eyes, pulling him along as he helps him get into the boat, left leg first. He seats himself opposite him shortly afterwards, taking the oars promptly. He pushed it forward forcefully, before pulling the handles back into him, and next thing you know the boat was slicing through the water in lazy haze of a pace. Instinctively, he looks up, lips curling into a genuine smile, happy and at ease, and Jean swore at that moment that if he could, he would capture the moment in a-

What the fuck.

He glanced back at Eren, who’d pursed his lips into a thin frown. _Hey, maybe it was a str_ -

_Oh fuck no._

Slow, fat drops of water began to pelt them with force fueled by disappointment of a Bourgeois Blonde and a blunt brunette who sought this as an opportunity to announce in the moment of obviousness, “oh, it’s raining.”

“No fucking shit.” Jean spits back, throwing the oars away as if another moment with them in his hands would scald them. Eren rolls his eyes, taking over the responsibility of rowing towards the shore. Jean watches him, chin resting on his palm, his elbow resting on a knobby knee, poking out from the rips in his jeans. In a moment of sourness and boredom, he reaches over and skims his hands through the water, proceeding to then flick the water on his fingertips at Eren’s face, who proceeded to scrunch up his face in confusion like _woah rain isn’t supposed to do that_. Jean let out a snort, drawing out his lips in a taunting smile, while thick bushy brows were furrowed close, viridian eyes glaring at him, as he quickly scooped up water in the makeshift cup of his palm, wasting not a second and dousing Jean with the meager amount of liquid. Amber eyes narrow, as a bony hand drags itself down the pale face. Alright, two hands are better than one anyway. And so with two hands, Eren Jaeger finds his shirt and face assaulted again.

Eren Jaeger, a boy who skips steps. A boy who prefers to do and then think, was definitely not the guy you wanted in a wooden boat in the middle of what was close to a downpour in charge of oars, because next thing Jean knew, he was falling into the water with Eren next to him. A moment of panic, as he forced his limbs to force him to the surface, fighting against the cruel water tugging at him as he choked out air-

“Jean.”

The bastard, his fault, how dare he call him so, _so calmly_  ,when they were in so deep-

“ _Jean._ ”

See, there he is, fucking doing it _again,_ instead of helping him up, oh he could see the headlines _right now_ -

“ _Jean fucking Kirstein, I swear to god, just stand up, you goddamn moron_.” Eren said, with no real bite in his voice, as he threw his hand back and laughed, hairs sticking to his bronze skin in clumps, as he held out his hand. Jean glared at it, slapping it away in indignation, making a sound akin to a squawk at the back of his throat as he stood up, sopping wet, glancing down at Eren. At least he wasn’t any better, black tank top clinging onto his stocky body. Heck, if Jean wasn’t shivering, he’d appreciate the view. Right now though, he did not want to see water unless it was steaming and in a glass.

So they made haste back to the mansion, Jean sneezing through most of the trip. Eren, _the dick_ , presumed Jean was just doing it to see if he could remember the salutation, and for the record, he did, after bestowing its German equivalent only twice.  

★★★

Changing into warmer clothes, cradling mugs of hot cocoa, the three Kirstein boys huddled in a pile on the carpet. Eren lay on the soft surface, cheek on Jean’s thigh as he argued with his brothers about what they really should be building in minecraft.

“I’m telling you, we should make like this really cool Chinese palace, you know with like a dragon figurehead-“

“Why-“

“It’s _cool_ -“

“Luc, c’mon now man, why have that when you can have an old-“

Next thing they heard in the room were the combined sneezes of the twins, and oh boy, these weren’t normal sneezes. No, these were _dad sneezes_. The type of sneeze that sounded like all the elephants of Africa decided to form an orchestra and the prime instrument was their trunks. Exaggeration aside, it was still a bellow of a sneeze.

“Do you guys do everything in sync ?” Eren asked, swatting at Jean’s chin nonchalantly. He reckons Erwin has a louder sneeze. Jean slaps his hand away and glares at him while Eren grins up at him in fake innocence.

“No.” They answer in unison, voice thick with the aftermath of the sneeze. “I feel like I’m gonna really fall sick.” Eric said, sniffling a little.

“Same.” His brother agrees.

Eren rolls his eyes, and contents himself with batting at Jean’s hand.

 ★★★

They’re at dinner again, and Elodie isn’t at the table. “She’s sick.” Genevieve informs, when the boys pointed it out. Genevieve doesn't like she’s doing too well either, and Eren helps as much as he can, despite them having assistance from maids. _Only fair_ , he argues. “Maybe you shouldn’t be straining yourself.” Eren says with frown, as he places a hand on her forehead, earning a shiver of discomfort as Genevieve gently takes his hand in both of his. She pats the back of his hand reassuringly, and nods. “I promise, I’ll head to bed.”

“Take pills ?”

“I’ll take pills too.” She laughs, patting his shoulder and then making her way up the stairs, Eren watching her like a hawk to make sure she’s not going to betray him in the last moment.

She doesn’t.

When Eren returns, Eric, Luc and Jean seem dull. He’s tried getting them to talk but really, they all just seem really sluggish. Eren sighs, and helps the maids clean up the table, as shoves the trio up the stairs, making sure they’re tucked into bed. He’s sure that all three of them are running a temperature, and the thermometer just confirmed it. So he administers the basic Nyquil and switches of the lights, shuts the door, and makes it to his room.

Eren’s no mama bear, but he sure as hell can take care of what, five people ?

Just the common cold and cough.

★★★

_Apparently not._

As soon as Jacques and Hugo returned, they called in a doctor, who declared it was just the flu. Still not the most drastic disease there was, but it warranted Hugo and Jacque to stay at home. How Eren wasn’t sick beat him, but he kinda wished he was. Better than handling Hugo’s unnerving gaze anyway.

Ah well, _c’est la vie._

**Author's Note:**

> Right, first fic for the fandom. Hope you like it, yeah ?
> 
> Please alert me about any mistakes in my French !!


End file.
